Grieving

I first would like to start off by saying Happy New Year! I know it seems like ages since I’ve written a new blog… and that’s partially true. But, as some of you may know so much has gone on in my life lately. For one I’m now 8 months pregnant with my baby boy and we have been preparing for his arrival. In addition I’ve been planning an amazing baby shower. And to top all of that off I’ve been grieving the loss of my younger sister who I suddenly lost in November of 2019.

With the start of the New Year I thought I’d do something new by sharing with you all how my grieving process has been. Not only do I think it will be therapeutic for me, but it could help so many other people who are dealing with the loss of a loved one. So many of my followers on Instagram really showed so much love and support to me during this difficult time and still continue to. I was even given great advice and I thought it would only be right to share how I’ve been coping these past couple of months.

My world was literally turned upside in November when I received news that my sister was in critical condition at the hospital. From the time of receiving that news the next four days were literally a whirlwind of emotions. I stayed in constant prayer, asked for prayers for my family and sister, and I literally stayed at the hospital from sun up to sun down. My hope was that I could wake up from this nightmare and we could go back to the way things used to be. Unfortunately God called my sister home on the 18th of November.

When my sister passed I was shocked, saddened, angry, and in disbelief. I kept thinking to myself why at 25 years old did she have to go? She had so many dreams and aspirations. She aspired to be a nurse just like me. She was helpful, a great cook, funny, and kind. Even to this day it still makes no sense to me why she’s not here with me. I constantly hold on to the laughs we shared, the fun memories we had, the times we shopped together, and all the times she was there for me when I needed her. I love her with all my heart and always will. Some days are still hard to cope. I constantly wake up with a void that my sister can only fill. Not a day goes by where I don’t think of her.

I often listen to songs that remind me of her. Sometimes I talk with my family and close friends just to vent my feelings, because sometimes getting it off your chest helps. I have so many pictures of her and I together in my phone and at times I look back at those to remind of all the fun times we had together. While I know without a doubt she is in heaven it doesn’t negate the fact that I and my family are all still grieving. The truth is that I don’t know how long I’ll be grieving, but I’m taking it one day at a time. There have been many lows and highs, but I still continue to press on in spite of it all.

If you don’t get anything from this blog I hope that you can at least walk away with insight to how I’ve truly been doing through this difficult time. And once again thank you to each of you who have sent love, prayers, and condolences. Also, know that if you’re going through a similar situation you’re not alone even though it may feel like it. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a therapist if need be. It’s important to process every emotion you’re going through. Don’t put a time table on your grief. Everyone processes grief differently. Do what is best for you. If you have any questions or comments please leave a comment below or DM me @nursekimdarpoh on Instagram.